Timothy Carey in his article The Being of Humans on Psychology Today, written on October 2015 talks in depth about the relationship between the human being and control. In fact in the article he uses the phrase, 'to be is to control', after offering several illustrative examples of this aspect of humanity. We all know of a person or two who are control freaks. Where as it is true that some people are pre-disposed to need to be control more than others, strictly speaking we all are control freaks. We simply cannot stand the idea of not being in control. Being in control comes to the human so instinctively that we barely notice that it is what we are doing. This only comes to the fore when we are confronted with situations where we are not in control e.g.loss of loved ones, terminal illness, natural calamities etc. We are so terrified of the notion of loss of control that we will do anything to find ways to maintain a semblance of control even when it is not real. I think it is because for us having control means 'continued survival' which is informed by the nexus, survival for fittest where the fittest are those with most control.
'Using different means to achieve anticipated outcomes is the hallmark of control. Control is the process of living '(Timothy Carey,2015).
Where as the more control we have the more secure we feel, the reverse is also true. The less control we have, the more insecure we will be. When we feel we have little or no control over our lives, we begin to drown. And it is this obsession with control that threatens to stand in our way of redemption.
"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." Mt 16:25 But before we find a resolution for it, let us try and trace it to its roots. Why is it that man has this obsessive need to be in control? It is my opinion that this can be traced back to the very first words man heard from God. “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Gen 1:28 We received the mandate to be in control from our maker but things fell apart when we rejected God's kingdom and as a result we lost the Holy Spirit who was within when God originally breathed upon Adam.
David writes about this in his Psalm 51.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
and sustain me with a willing spirit.…"
When man became his own boss and sustainer, control became a poison. Because as limited as man was, now he was left to his own devices. This is where things took a turn to the dumpster. Control became a matter of significance and security. We would start to wield it as a weapon because our mindset switched to the law of the jungle and int he jungle the animal with most control survives. From looking to God as sustainer we struggled to sustain ourselves so much so we have no recollection of another way of doing life. Even when God in his goodness provided a way of escape, a breather from our pretentious lifestyle, we are still blinded by it."This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith." (1 Jn 5:4). After all the struggle man has had, one would think that man would grab this golden opportunity without even thinking but it has been centuries now, and we still are yet to turn over a new leaf.
Faith implies absolute trust in God and relinquishing control of our lives. This is the struggle. The extent of this struggle is so real that even for the few who master the courage to give up control, they still inadvertently keep trying to take it back each and every day. Let me illustrate.
Two ingredients are necessary for redemption; receiving of the grace of God through faith and confession that is made to that end. Unfortunately, more often that not, what happens is this. When the good news is preached, many hear the message and are moved. They receive it gladly and make the requisite confession. But then proceed to perform religious activities thinking that this is what it takes to maintain their newly acquired status. While on the surface this looks normal or even healthy, the underlying issue as to why man gravitates to the religious activities is control; the need to try to earn the gift, the need to feel deserving of it. What you earn you own or have some control over.
You see, if man is to fully accept the grace of God as it is, free,with no kind of payment rendered, it means relinquishing control of their lives because you have no sense of control over what you did not pay for. So man struggles with the notion of a gift that is absolutely free and undeserved because now by accepting it he has to humble himself and relinquish control. This is hard for the unrenewed mind. This is why he will keep attempting to gain some sense of control by creating pious rituals and actions that he can regularly perform so as to feel a sense of control. He will punish himself with long, complicated prayers, long sessions of Bible study, long periods of fasting, strict adherence to some cultural norm of dressing and so on all in a bid to master some control in this free gift. So close yet so far!
The word says,
"For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ."
Rom 5:17
This is the deal we have from God. The deal is either we receive his grace as a gift(totally free) or we do not.
How this reads to fallen man is 'total handover of control or burst' and therein lies the challenge. This is the true meaning of the phrase, "My ways are not your ways".(Isa 55:8) because this concept is very counter-intuitive to the fallen man.
In conclusion, we are perishing everyday because we keep rejecting God's free gift to us. We reject God's gift by insisting on paying for it. This payment may take the form of penance, tithe, long prayers, long sessions of fasting, pious posture, serving in a ministry and all manner of religious activities that man has invented over the ages. That violates the terms of the agreement. The gift is free as a matter of necessity. We either receive it freely or reject it. Once we have received it, we then are free to serve in the ministry, give our tithes, fast and do everything other thing that enriches our walk but these must never be construed as payment in any way because as soon as that happens we stop reigning in life. It all becomes a struggle and a religious act that is fruitless and painful.
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